Annabeth Chase Lines Act II

Get off the bus! Now!

GROVER: I smell gas.

Yep

PERCY: Guys, we just exploded a bus.

Oh yeah.

PERCY: That was being attacked. By demon triplet math teachers.

I hope so!

PERCY: Is the whole trip going to be like this?

He’s very sorry. Tell the squirrel you’re sorry, Percy.

PERCY: I’m not saying sorry to a squirrel.

You think?!

PERCY: I think the gods are trying to tell me they hate me.

I have a weird feeling about this.

GROVER: That one looks like my Uncle Ferdinand.

Yeah, that’s interesting. We’re leaving. Now.

AUNTY EM: It’s no trouble at all. I’ve been ever so lonely. I had a boyfriend once. Sisters too. But then a wicked woman ruined my life, and ever since then, no one seems to want to see me.

…Really?

AUNTY EM: Your eyes are quite unique, my dear.

Of me?

AUNTY EM: They remind me of somebody. Would you mind if I took your picture? I’d like to create a new statue.

It’s just one picture, Percy.

PERCY: You know, maybe we should keep moving…

Don’t you need a camera?

GROVER: Really…captured…

Close your eyes! Aunty M! For-

AUNTY EM: …when you have a face like mine?

You can open your eyes. But don’t look directly at her. She can still turn you to stone, even after you’ve chopped off her head.

PERCY: What just happened?

I should’ve known who she was sooner. My mom is gonna be so disappointed.

PERCY: I chopped off her head??

You’re right. It’s yours.

PERCY: It’s not your fault.

You lead us right to her!

PERCY: What?

Medusa used to be beautiful, until Athena…turned her into a monster.

PERCY: You told me to be decisive! Besides, you’re the one she was after! She had some grudge against your mom. What was that about?

Medusa disrespected her! She was sneaking into Athena’s temple to meet up with her boyfriend… Poseidon. Yeah, Medusa dated your dad.

PERCY: Why would she DO that?

People always de-value wisdom, she has to be tough! It’s the only way to get people to respect you! I mean her… I mean… Forget it.

PERCY: Isn’t that overreacting?

I never said I didn’t like you.

PERCY: Is that why you don’t like me? Because our parents' don’t like each other?

Look, I’ve studied. I’ve trained. I’ve done everything to prove to the gods that I’m the best. And you show up and - You don’t even know how to hold a sword.

PERCY: You criticize me. All the time.

Hands here.

PERCY: Yes I do. Ow.

Now come at me

PERCY: I didn’t ask for any of this. Gods, monsters, quests - Oh, that is easier.

That’s what I want to know.

PERCY: With my sword? Look, you’re smart, you’re brave, you’re scary good with that knife. How could your mom not be proud of you?

Yeah, but when boys screw up, they always get another chance.

PERCY: I know what it’s like to not be good enough. Do you know how many times I’ve been kicked out of school?

At least not with each other.

PERCY: No more fighting?

Whatever you’re doing can’t possibly be a good idea.

PERCY: Come on, I know how to get our parents to notice us. Help me box up this head.

The gods will think we’re impertinent.

PERCY: Hermes Express shipping. To: Mount Olympus. Care of Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase.

Look, the Gateway Arch!

TRAIN CONDUCTOR: St. Louis, everybody off!

Here’s the problem. Public transportation is suspended due to the storm, and if we get on a plane, Zeus will strike us right out of the sky.

FARMER: Bye, kids!

I can’t believe this! That is so Poseidon! Of course we would spend all of our money at the freaking Hoover Dam!

PERCY and GROVER: [Fighting]

Okay gang, we’ll be in L.A. tomorrow. But tonight we need a place to sleep.

GROVER: That guy is so cool.

You’re joking, right? In The Odyssey, if you went to sleep in a lotus bed, one night could last one hundred years!

PERCY: How about here? The Lotus Hotel.

Are you sure that’s a good idea?

PERCY: Look, a bus to Los Angeles!

It’s crazy to think that this time tomorrow, we’ll be in the Underworld.

PERCY, ANNABETH, and GROVER: [singing] DRIVE!!

Mom? You remembered my birthday…

GROVER: You were waking up the other passengers. Well, not Annabeth.

That’s not true, Grover. I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you. Neither would Luke.

GROVER: I don’t know why you heard her name in your dream. But I know what it means. If we fail this quest, it’s gonna be my fault.

We’re almost at the Underworld. Kind of hard to sleep.

PERCY: You’re awake.

We’re here.

PERCY: What if this is a mistake? We’ve been so sure Hades is the thief. But what if we’re wrong? The Oracle told me I’d fail -

That’s Charon, the ferryman to the Underworld. We need to get to Hades.

CHARON: Going down?

All three of us.

GROVER: Yeah, we, um, drowned. In the bathtub.

Is that a problem?

CHARON: Big bathtub. Passage across the River Styx isn’t free. With adults, I usually charge their credit card or add the ferry price to their last cable bill. But children… They never die prepared. Gold drachmas. Y’all are half-bloods.

Um…

CHARON: Not at all. You know, the ferryman thing is just my day job. My real passion is music. Do you wanna hear my demo?

It’s great!

CHARON: What do you think of my song?

Come on, we have to find Hades. Stay close. What did I just say?

PERCY: Did she mean eternity like… eternity?

We have to be careful. If we get separated, we may never find each other again, so… Seriously!?!

PERCY: Sorry, I don’t know what came over me.

Well tell your brain to do something!

PERCY: I can’t help it! It’s like my feet won’t listen to my brain!

Woah! Gotcha! Take off your shoes!

PERCY: I swear, it’s not me! It’s - my - shoes! They’re trying to pull me into that pit!!!!!!

GROVER: Percy!

Guys… I think this pit is Tartarus.

PERCY: What was that?

Tartarus. It’s like the maximum-security wing of the Underworld.

PERCY: Like, the fish sauce?

Chiron told you our parents went to war against their father? First they overthrew him. Then they threw him - into a pit.

PERCY: What’s so bad that the regular-security wing isn’t enough?

Unless it wasn’t the shoes he was after…

GROVER: They were really cool shoes.

Then how did it get there?

PERCY: But why would it be in my…No. You can’t think - I didn’t steal it, I swear!

I didn’t! It was a hypothesis! A guess! Stop looking at me like that!

PERCY: I don’t know! How did you know where to find it?

Not that bad! Look, there’s something weird going on.

PERCY: “Betrayed by a friend,” how bad did you need that quest anyway?

No chance. We came here to stop a war, not to start one.

HADES: When the gods go to war, it’s the mortals who suffer…and end up here. And I do get lonely.

But if it’s not Hades…?

PERCY: We were set up. And I think I know who did the setting.

Percy, get to the ocean!

ARES: Make me. Let the slugfest begin!

That was amazing!

ARES: Nooooooo!

How did you do that?

GROVER: That was awesome!

Hi.

PERCY: I had some help.

So, what now?

PERCY: It’s a do-it-yourself sculpture kit. It’s Medusa’s head.

Hey Clarisse, we met your dad. He’s not as tough as you.

CLARISSE: Percy’s alive?

Hey! It’s a letter from your mom.

[Bringing PERCY a letter]

I tried. Once. My dad couldn’t deal with the monster attacks. And my stepmom couldn’t deal with me. It’s just asking for trouble.

PERCY: And a photo of her new sculpture. “Bean. Dip.” Hey, how come you don’t go home?

I… guess we both have a choice to make, Seaweed Brain.

PERCY: Sometimes family’s worth the trouble.

Luke. What are you doing?

LUKE: Soon you’ll see what I did. Soon they’ll be no gods at all!

You’re right. It’s over, Luke.

LUKE: I know you’ll choose wisely, Annabeth.

Percy!

PERCY: [after literally getting stabbed] Ow!

He needs ambrosia! It’s the only thing that will heal him. Seaweed Brain?

CHIRON: Go after him!

He’ll be back.

GROVER: He’s gone. But he won’t get far. I’ll have all the squirrels on the east coast searching for him.

The gods will say we’re impertinent.

PERCY: No. Luke was right about one thing. We can’t hide at camp waiting for our parents to fix things. We have to do it ourselves - out there, in the real world. That’s where the monsters are.